New: Job, Town, Ecosystem, Mountain, People, Coworkers, Mission (sort of), Material to learn, Life requirements, responsibility, etc. etc.
So, I’m new to this. The first week at Mount Hermon was painful, terrifying, and really exciting. I couldn’t find my groove and had serious thoughts of not belonging and considered peacing out. Then I realized it was just hormones and terror from all the newness. This week, especially after our trip to Yosemite, I’m feeling more like myself. The crew is mostly girls, which is something I’ll get used to (hopefully) and will make efforts to make friends outside of work whenever possible.
Part of the reason I chose camp ministry as my first stop post college is because it is the only place that I have ever been intentional about morning devotions and so far so good. God’s word – horrifyingly holy. See old blog for more information on that.
I saw the sunrise from atop Half Dome the other morning after nearly losing my will to live and forever swearing off any and all outdoor adventures. Today, my calves are KILLING ME, but the bonding adventure was well worth the pain. God’s creation is exquisite. It can be smudged my man’s pollution, but the intensity of its beauty is still awfully humbling.
Today was our first practice run for teaching classes, and despite my previous fears, I think I just might be able to rock this job. It is going to be a ridiculous amount of work, but in the end I’m going to know answers to kids questions, teach them about things I’m passionate about, and watch them move from ignorance to understanding through creative and ridiculous means. I’m starting to get excited.
Sometimes things go according to plan, and sometimes there is no proof that a plan ever existed. I was stuck in front of a group of sleepy Jr. high students with a 20 minute talk prepared, which included my scriptural basis, visual stimulation, and activities for the visual and kinesthetic learners . . . and only had 7ish minutes to do it all. I was paralyzed.
What do you cut out? What do you keep? How to do you present the important things when they were the climax of the initial build up. Without the background info, would they make any sense whatsoever? Because I was dealing with younger kids I split my talk into four sections to keep them engaged, but when Gary said that there was only 3 minutes left I felt like I had already failed. I quickly ran through an exercise that I stole from a chic movie, and hoped that somehow a kid would know they are not alone.
Writing about it makes me feel like a bumbling idiot, but the truth of the matter is . . . it was just a bad set of circumstances. Poor planning on their part and inexperience on how to handle it on my part. If this was more like a one time out of fifteen it wouldn’t be as big of a deal, but it’s something like one out of four for talking about the trip – and I had focused on a community/body of Christ aspect for this specific group.
Whateva, whateva. I cannot wait to have a classroom of my own. Public speaking is freakishly impersonal for me, but I’m happy to know that now and can ditch any illusions of grandeur playing through my mind.
Time to pack . . . ugh. Someone want to pack for me?
Tomorrow I’m talking to a bunch of Jr. High Students about community, the team, body of Christ, not being jerks to one another, and how it is possible that someone who seems so cool today had no friends in Jr. High . . . sort of.
I had to share this. He not only plays air guitar, he’s each band member plus the crowd!
The Band: “The Gaslight Anthem.” The Song: “We’re getting a divorce, You keep the diner.” Check out the rest of their stuff, so far I like what I hear.
When I was handed my diploma it was not only a piece of paper that proved I was capable of procrastinating till odd hours of the morning and that I could sufficiently regurgitate the ideas of others . . . it was also an enormous lens through which I must now look at the vast ocean of possibilities. (Does that make any sense? I’m a little sleepy)
How will I view consumerist materialism? Will nothing of material quality be allowed to make me happy?
Do I really want the Amish to be in charge of Homeland Security (Read “Jesus for President”)? Are these ideas of practicing peace and forgiveness impossible on the national stage? Can I be content with practicing it in my every day life? Am I even capable of such a feat?
Can I really not buy clothes for a year? I already broke after day one . . .
What about the environmentalist movement? Do I have to choose between saving souls and saving trees? And that question is especially curious considering the fact that my gifts are meant for discipling and not evangelizing. . .
So, it’s been weeks of mental anguish and long conversations that left my head spinning and no solid ground to land upon. Something needed to be done.
The answer is to go back to the basics. I shall begin this journey into adulthood with one of the greatest examples of grace and love in action: Mother Theresa.
Mama T sure knows her stuff, so here’s hoping she can give me some footing into living with radical love in an ordinary world.
